Ugly Would Even Say This is Ugly

Last night, Larry King had a woman on his show who is addicted to plastic surgery. I had seen this woman before, but I had forgotten how incredibly abhorrent her features were. Talk about your science experiment gone wrong – I don’t know what to think when I look at this woman. I mean, her skin doesn’t even really look like skin anymore. And her lips? Like a baboon’s ass on a face.

I think Larry King said she’d had like 28 or 29 plastic surgeries, and I hear that her mortician is happier and happier with each successive surgery. Hell, when she kicks in 15 years due to ridiculous toxin levels, he won’t have to do anything to prepare her for an open-casket funeral. On the downside, a few attendees may keel over right there upon seeing this PVC cover girl.

And the best part? This woman even has her own website (edit: link removed). Because I know you’re interested, here’s what answers.com has to say about her various and sundry surgeries:

Jenny Lee Burton is a 28-year old Dallas mom who has had 26 consemetic surgeries and procedures, including a brow lift at age 25. She has had botox, cheek implants, three nose jobs, three lip implants, two boob jobs, three breast lifts, and liposuction on her arms, hips, thighs, stomach and knees. Her quest for perfection began in the celebrity magazines a few years ago when she marched into a doctor’s office and requested Michael Jackson’s nose, Jennifer Aniston’s jaw, Jennifer Lopez’s profile and Angelina Jolie’s bee-stung lips. To pay for her addiction, she maxed out her credit cards, ate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and worked extra jobs. She says she now realizes she has a problem and is seeking treatment for her obsessive behavior which is considered body dysmorphic disorder, a condition in which a person becomes obsessed with defects in their appearance that are often imagined. Studies may show that this runs in the family, and in fact, it did exist in her family, and Jenny Lee’s father had an obsessive compulsive disorder.

I dunno what else to say. Boob jobs are great, but please, don’t eff with your face. Not unless you look like Gonzo from the Muppets and really need a freakin rhinoplasty, ok? Thanks.