Flickr Your Fuckr

Before you go freaking out that I’m casually f-bombing helpless citizens in the name of freedom, check out the origin of this Fuckr (edit: link removed). Did you read it? You didn’t, did you. “Too many words,” you say. Too much effort, huh?

Clearly, the creative genius coming out of JOAB Labs is relentless, and judging by the lack of refinement over at the Fuckr site (edit: link removed), somebody needed to step up and help take this Fuckr to the next level. That somebody is me.

Get a Web 2.0 logo for this Fuckr

A logo for this Fuckr

Lowercase, two solid colors, and a reflection?? That is SO Web 2.0!

If it ain’t BETA, it ain’t Web 2.0!

It doesn’t LOOK like that Fuckr is beta, but it’s a work in progress…So that means it’s beta, right?

Fuckr beta

Hell, beta gets used so much nowadays that it’s totally lost meaning. So why not? This Fuckr is totally beta!

For some reason, though, having Fuckr be just another beta is shortsighted and too mainstream. I feel like this Fuckr is bigger than you might think, and therefore, it must aspire to be MORE than just your typical beta.

Besides, beta isn’t funny. Beta isn’t anything unless you put “master” in front of it, and even that’s so cliche that it has ceased to be clever/funny. We need progressive thinking to brand this Fuckr – you know, to really put this Fuckr out there where everyone knows about it. We need a nu Fuckr.

The Nu Fuckr

Two minutes out of the box, and I’m already unhappy with this nu Fuckr.

The masses need to view this Fuckr as a tangible, almost edible smorgasbord of shoot-from-the-hip commentary, so maybe something that evokes images of food is more appropriate. Enter eta Fuckr.

eta Fuckr

Are you laughing yet? Me neither. Only Caesar could make that funny – “I, Eta Fuckr.” Okay, okay, so our first ideas sucked, but we’re brainstorming here. And of course, our failures will ultimately lead to successes, because if they don’t, all that crap your teachers and mentors told you for years would be wrong. And if that were true, then I think all this would somehow be tied to the death of baby seals, and we can’t have that. At least not on my watch.

The public needs to think that Fuckr has fresh, delectable content. What they need is a nice, big piece of Fuckr pi.

Fuckr pi

Now THAT’S what I’m talking about. Go on, break you off a piece. Beta? We don’t need no stinking beta – we’ve got Fuckr pi. Mmmm mmmm.

What? There’s still some dissention from the minorities on our marketing team. Apparently Fuckr pi doesn’t have the cross-cultural appeal that a good campaign needs to have these days. If we exclude certain demographics in our branding, we could all end up being one lonely Fuckr. Not only that, Fuckr is edgier than just Fuckr pi. I mean, come on, what was with the whole food thing anyway? Talk about your crackhead ideas. We need a better Fuckr. A more shocking Fuckr. We need a pimp-ass Fuckr.

kappa Fuckr

Enter Kappa Fuckr. You see bad content on the web? Kappa Fuckr. Did your affiliate advertiser stick it in and break it off? Kappa Fuckr. Did those dipshits at OSM Pajamas Media (whatever) have another publicity party? Kappa Fuckr. Did some moron who designs sites in Front Page undercut your price by $200 and steal a job from you? Kappa Fuckr.

You marketing gurus out there know that your branding needs to be flexible and adaptable, and fortunately, Fuckr has got you covered. Now who can argue with a Fuckr like that?

Now with a big ghetto ass!