Christmas Carnage

Ya know, after living through my share of holiday seasons, I’ve come to realize that there are two ways people enjoy Christmas. You can either enjoy Christmas as a participant, or you can play the part of the observer. The former is the preferred stance of snot-nosed kids everywhere, and the latter is the route chosen by us boring adults. Despite the differing roles on Christmas, I would argue that neither is necessarily a “better” way to enjoy the holiday – both can be equally entertaining, as I’ll illustrate below.

Since I’m officially old and boring (at least as far as Christmas is concerned), I’ve become an observer. Playing this role, however, has huge perks:

  • First, my fate is no longer tied to whether or not I got the new Micro Machine city-in-a-box that I really wanted
  • Second, I get to be this sadistic puppeteer – I give a kid or a dog a cool gift, and I get to watch them go to town on it like nothing else matters.

Now, if you’ve been reading me for any length of time, you know that I love me some doggies. It stands to reason, then, that I’d find the most enjoyment from giving my dogs gifts and watching them tear into ’em. Does anyone else think it’s insanely cute when you give a dog something as a gift and they know it’s just for them? It’s the best thing ever. Thanks to this, I now get my sadist holiday kicks by giving gifts to dogs. This is what playing the role of the observer is all about! Now, I’ll step aside and let Jezebel, my mom’s Jack Russell Terrier, take center stage.

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